Embracing Forgiveness

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi.

There are occasions when people go through injustice, get setbacks in life, get betrayed by someone they trust. Do not get the response they expect from someone – someone very close, when in need. They attach with themselves the severance, make the mockery a keepsake and try to lead a long life with these- without making any effort to get rid of the swindle. It hurts- gives pain- keeps people stuck- slows down the momentum of life.

There is a way out, forgive, and move on. Forgiveness gives support in leaving behind the matter and quick healing. To lead an everyday life after some point of time, one needs to move towards forgiveness. It prevents one’s bitter past from infecting his present and future.

Before discussing how it works but let it first be clear what forgiveness is not all about. It is not neglecting the matter, excusing or condoning. When it comes to forgiving, there is a human behaviour where people do not truly accept the matter; the damage sustained; instead, they overlook the matter, make excuses without making acceptance of the damage. It cannot do real justice to forgiveness. Also, for some people, there is a big shame and humiliation attached to being hurt. There has to be a real offence for true forgiveness, with real consequences and its acknowledgement – from deep within. In order to have peace, there has to be acceptance and then forgiveness.

One more aspect seen in society or on the part of our thinking is that there must be reconciliation with forgiveness. Our human emotions play role several times, and we get patched up with the person who has given the setback, as he was someone very close and still is – somewhere in the corner of our heart. However, reconciliation has not always to be complimentary of forgiveness. There has to be no doubt that if we forgive, we will have to reconcile. One may forgive or not; one may reconcile or not. We need to take some time, try to get away from the setback and go for a robust decision making whether the association again with the person can be harmful. It takes a great effort in coming out of an emotional setback; not everyone can afford to take the second.

It never means that reconciliation is not an important consideration. It becomes a separate process, independent of forgiveness, yet utmost important.

A step towards it is to share with others what happened. It helps in overcoming the emotional problems and taking a big step towards forgiveness. We often find people having a habit of turning the thoughts inwards, which people call the introverts. When they face a significant setback, they find it difficult to share what has happened to them. There can be a way out- we may develop a habit of sharing little things at-least with few people we are comfortable with so that if there is a significant setback, we may find it easy to share our minds.

The other major part is to see others too more in light of humans. We can look forward to developing some empathy towards the person who has caused the damage. They are also humans and may make mistakes. In most of the cases, people do not do damages intentionally or purposely.

For most people, forgiveness can be a life-changing alternative. It can change the path of one’s life. To sum-up, it is an effective way of managing the difficult times of life. It provides a more in-depth understanding that we are all flawed in our different ways and that we all need is to forgive at times – and this becomes vital learning for life.

cover image source: thewholejourney.com